"y'all don't know me"

I would be lying if I said that I didn't have a minor infatuation with Simon Rex.

I think there is a small part in everyone who craves the opposite of what is "normal", or even tasteful. Let's be serious, my mother would never approve of an ex gay porn star (hey, it was solo porn) turned Hollywood rapper known as "Dirt Nasty", but that's exactly why he's so appealing to me.

Does that mean that I want to be the mother of his illegitimate children? Absolutely not. I'm actually positive that I'd wake up completely stripped of my dignity after only one night out with Dirt. However, if D.C. happens to be a stop on one of his tours this year, I got a gold chain.